7th Heaven: Season 2: Episode 11: Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way

 

Dinner at the Camden's. Shown are Annie (Catherine Hicks), Mary (Jessica Biel), Lucy (Beverly Mitchell), and Ruthie (Mackenzie Rosman). 

The Camden's are eating dinner, and Simon tries to pull the table cloth out from under the table. He doesn't succeed but says he's getting closer. (I am thinking no one else in the family agrees). 

The phone rings, and it's for Lucy.

Annie asks Mary how Mary's rehab with Koper is going, and Mary tells her that Coach Koper told her she will be back on the team soon if she keeps up the work. 

Simon tells his mother that his father might be late because aliens kidnapped him. Ruthie adds, "or he is picking up ice cream." 

Eric comes in and tells the family Glen Oak Community Church could get on TV. He does not get the reaction he hoped for. Lucy returns and asks what she missed, and he replies, "Evidentally nothing."

The opening credits come up, and the song plays.

It is Friday. The phone rings. Annie has her hands full and asks Eric to get it. When he doesn't, Annie answers it, and it's Mrs. Hinkle. (We do not see or hear her on this call).  She needs denture cream picked up (and according to Eric, medication). Annie tells her that she will take care of it since Eric is getting ready for the broadcast on Sunday. Annie has been doing a lot so her husband can work on the sermon. 

Mrs. Fischer (Carrie Stauber) is handing out graded midterm tests to Lucy's class. Lucy got a D. Christine (Morgan Kibby) tells Lucy to sign the test herself. Matt sees Lucy and says that Todd (Jeremy Torgerson) is a slacker and used to be in his class. He sees Lucy's grade and asks her why she didn't ask for help if she was having trouble. She says she didn't know she needed help. 

Coach Koper (Paul Satterfield), sees Mary asks her about her knee. He tells her he will see her in twenty minutes. She then sees some of the girls on the team, who inform her there's a new girl named Diane trying out for the team. 

Mary sees Matt and tells him to pick her up at five. 

Eric is working on his sermon, and by that, I mean he's flicking rubberband off a pencil. He accidentally hits Happy with one, and she leaves. 

The kids, minus Mary, are back home. Simon has a box waiting for him, and it's his magic set. The phone rings, and it's for Lucy again. 

Annie comes into the kitchen.

Annie Camden (Catherine Hicks)

Matt: Wow. You know, not many people could make that look work, Mom but you...

Annie: Had a little fight with the garden house down at the church. The hose won. 

Annie looks in the fridge and sees Eric never cooked the dinner. Annie is not happy but says she'll take care of it. (I think Annie is now qualified for sainthood). 

Upstairs, Simon is swearing in Ruthie as his assistant. However, Ruthie doesn't want to be an assistant; she wants to be a magician, too. 

In the high school gym, Mary is looking for Coach Koper. He is with Diane (Alexandra Glazer), who had made the team. He sees Mary and apologizes to her. 

Koper: Mary, I'm sorry. I forgot all about you. (And I am sure this gave Mary a nice warm fuzzy). 

He tells Mary to practice some exercises on her own so he can get Diane settled in with the team.

Simon is practicing magic in his and Ruthie's room.

Simon: See. The Great Simoni has taken an everyday ordinary pencil and turned it from rubber back into wood. 

He then pulls a penny out of Ruthie's ear. Ruthie wants him to pull him out a quarter or even a dollar. He tells her he could but doesn't feel like it at the moment. 

Ruthie: Tell me how you did it.

Simon: Only his assistant can know The Great Simoni's secrets. 

Ruthie: That's not going to happen, so I'll just go ask The Great Daddy.

Eric is in his office doing everything but working on his sermon for Sunday. He turns on the jukebox, and it plays "Mashed Potato Time" by Dee Dee Sharp. Eric is dancing and lip-synching when Ruthie comes in. He turns the music off, and Ruthie wants to ask him about the money in the head thing, but he tells her he's busy. She says she thought he was dancing, and he says he has a block in his head. (Ruthie, of course, at her age believes it is an actual block). She tells him she has money in her head, tilts her head to the side, and bangs on it, saying that she can't get it out. Eric tells her they can talk about it later. 

Ruthie asks Annie if Annie knows how to get money out of someone's ear. She doesn't but suggests Simon might. (Ruthie is totally not into that idea). 

Outside Mary is shooting baskets. Matt sees her and teases her, and she gets angry.

Inside, Ruthie explains to her mother that she wants to be a magician too, not an assistant. Mary and Matt come inside, and Annie tells them to set the table and put food on it. Mary goes into her room and throws herself on her bed. Matt follows and asks what "that was for." Lucy is on the phone and tells them to keep it down. They yell at her to get off the phone. Matt comments about Lucy's friends, and Mary snaps at him that Lucy's friends are not his business either. 

Matt: Fine, did she tell you she got a D on her American History midterm?

Mary: You're failing history?

Lucy: You're quitting the basketball team?

Annie and Ruthie come into the girls' room and asks what they are going to tell her. They all start ratting each other out. Annie tells Ruthie to go downstairs and finish setting the table.

Ruthie: But I can't hear from down there. (You know, I bet Annie didn't think of that). 

She leaves, and Simon comes in and wants to show his money out of the ear trick. No one cares, and Annie tells him to wash up for dinner. 

The phone rings, and Ruthie answers. It's The Colonel (Peter Graves), and Ruthie tells him everything that is going on. She tells him smoke is coming out of the oven, and he tells her to get off the phone and go find her mother right away. She salutes and says, "yes, sir," and hangs up. (It was too cute that she saluted him over the phone). The Colonel tells Ruth (who is not seen in this episode) to pack his bags cause "he's shipping out." 

Eric is twirling a bagel on his pencil as he stares at a blank computer screen. The doorbell rings. He asks if someone can get it, but no one does, so he opens the door and sees his father. He tells Eric to go write something, and he will take over. Eric tells his father that he "loves and respects him but gets nervous whenever he's in the church." 

The Colonel talks to Ruthie about helping Simon realize his dream. He says he hates the idea of Simon being a magician, but Simon needs to try it. The Colonel then tells Mary she should quit the team. Matt's confused. 

Matt: What was that all about?

Colonel: It's important to know when to be helpful and how to be helpful. When you don't know either one, it's important to be harmless.

Matt: What?

Colonel: Lead, follow or get out of the way. 

He explains that once Mary is free to hate the new girl, she will get over it. He then tells Matt to iron.

Lucy comes into the room. The Colonel tells her, "grab a sponge and hit the counters." He tells her they have some American History to go over. Lucy is surprised her grandfather can do "domestic stuff because Dad can't."

Colonel: That's because he never had the pleasure of serving his country in the Marine Corps. 

They go into the living room and discuss Vietnam. He asks Lucy why a smart girl like her got a D. She tells him she once got a bad grade, and it made her more popular with "the laid-back kids." That was easier than "competing with the smart kids." The Colonel asks her what kind of a man would be attracted to a woman who wasn't smart. She tells him she enjoyed their talk and used to think he didn't like her. 

Colonel: As I recall, this is the first time we've talked where I've gotten to say anything. (This is true at least on the episodes they've shown). 

Matt sees Mary shooting baskets outside and tells her The Colonel is wrong about her quitting. She says she doesn't care; she's quitting.

Annie comes in and is surprised to see her father-in-law. 

Colonel: Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?

Annie: I don't know how you found out. But I know why you're here. You're here to help.

Annie thanks him, and Eric comes into the kitchen, and also thanks his father because has finished his sermon. 

At church Sunday morning, the choir sings "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands." 

Mary sees Diane and is upset that she came to her father's church. 

Reverend Camden gets up and says good morning to the congregation. He welcomes everyone, especially his father. Reverend Camden tells them that it was his father who inspired the sermon this week. While he is talking, Simon shows Ruthie a magic trick. Ruthie tries, only she really shoves it up her nose. She suddenly lets out a blood curdling scream. Reverend Camden runs down from the pulpit, and there is chaos.

The Colonel: Dismissed! Slowest-moving bunch I ever saw.

Simon informs the others their mother got Ruthie to blow the candy out of her nose, and they are going to the ER to make sure everything is okay. 

Diane introduces herself to Mary. She says Coach Koper recommended this church. Mary tells her it's not like this every Sunday. 

Diane: I hope that little girl's okay.

Mary: That's my sister Ruthie. I'm sure she's fine for a kid with a mint up her nose. 

Diane tells her she had the same surgery done on her knee as Mary. She tells Mary, "you'll be back," and "I was looking forward to playing ball with you when I transferred." 

Lucy tells Todd she got in trouble over her midterm grade. He asks her to help him, and she suggests they could have Matt help them both. Todd says getting help from Matt might make him feel dumb, but Lucy tells him they would be assisting Matt by letting Matt help them. 

Matt is in the car with his grandfather, apologizing for not listening. The Colonel tells him it's okay and that he hates magicians. Matt says they should go to the hospital, but The Colonel says he has a better idea. They decide to go get ice cream because Ruthie would want it the most when she gets home. 

Colonel: So, what happens the rest of the day?

Mary: I was hoping Matt would wanna shoot hoops with me when we get home.

Colonel: Oh, so you're not quitting the team?

Matt: Don't gloat, sir. (This line made me chuckle). 

Ruthie explains that she stuck the mint up her nose because she wants to do what Simon does. 

Annie: You can't always be the center of attention.

Ruthie sticks her fingers in her ears and starts humming.

The nurse (Diana Tanaka) is amused. Annie pulls Ruthie's fingers out of her ears.

Annie: I know it's hard for you to hear this, but you can't always have what you want. 

She leaves, and the nurse pulls a lollipop out of Ruthie's ear. The nurse tells Ruthie she can show her how to do it if Ruthie doesn't tell anyone. 

Simon is talking to Eric out in the waiting room. He thinks he's in trouble but Eric tells him he's off the hook. 

Simon: How come? (Simon, when a parent says they aren't going to punish you, don't question it, just accept it). 

Eric: I heard Ruthie scream and it scared me so badly I lost my mind and my will to discipline you. Look, in case it may have appeared otherwise... My family is more important to me than my work. This week, I kind of forgot you all have your own work. Just growing up is hard work and I need to be there for you everyday.

Simon: Thanks Dad. (I really can't see blaming this on Simon, he offered to let Ruthie be an assistant, it's not her fault she wouldn't go for it). 

Ruthie comes out and Simon apologizes to her. Eric apologizes to Annie. Ruthie pulls a lollipop out of Simon's ear. 

Eric: That's what you learned from all this?

Ruthie: No. I learned sometimes if you really need help bad enough, life just gives it to you.

The four head out of the ER as the closing credits come up. 

(I enjoyed this episode, but I happen to really like The Colonel. He seems so cold at first, but then you realize he genuinely cares about them all. You just know when Ruthie copies Simon with the trick at church it's gonna be bad, and then she screams).