7th Heaven: Season 4 - Episode 7: Sin...

 

Simon (David Gallagher) goofs around with his friends at school. 

Simon is goofing around with the guys at his school, doing "guy things." They are making rude noises and doing armpit farts. Ms. Gordan (Freda Foh Shen) watches, and his mother's car pulls up just as Simon flips a double bird. (That's probably not going to go well for you, Simon). 

Ruthie: What's that finger thing mean, anyway?

The women's basketball team at the high school is meeting in the hall with Coach Cleary (Kurt Rambis), who is holding a clipboard with all their progress reports. He informs them that despite being warned multiple times, they are still doing poorly academically. He pulls out a chain and padlock and locks the gym, and informs them the basketball season for them is cancelled until they get their grades up and prove they can be responsible. (I like this guy). 

The opening credits come up, and the theme song plays.

Lucy is on the Kennedy High School court. Principal Russell (Nancy Lee Grahn) calls the session to order. The first case is Theresa Harvey and Kevin Dorce, who were turned in by Mr. Donnelly, presumably for making out in school because Principal Russell sees them making out and declares them guilty. 

Next is a plagiarism case, also guilty.

The next case involves a student named David who's been forging his mother's signatures on excuses for podiatry appointments, only he misspelled his mother's name, so that was another guilty. (Tip: If you're going to commit forgery, first learn to spell the name you are forging). 

Matt and Shana return to Matt and John's apartment. Matt looks into their fridge, which is empty. 

Matt: Somebody hits the store.

John: I'll leave a note for the maid.

Simon and Ruthie return home with their mother. Annie is still upset about the finger incident and tells him he's lucky he still has those fingers. Simon tells her it's not a big deal; it's a guy thing.

Annie: It is not a guy thing.

Simon: How would you know? 

Simon goes upstairs, and Eric comes out carrying the twins in a laundry basket. He asks her if everything is okay because they heard the door slam. 

Annie: I drove up to school this afternoon, and your son was making a gesture with not one but both hands. And your son was not hailing a cab or hitchhiking or saying, 'come hither.' On top of that, the principal saw your son not making the peace sign, and the three of us have an appointment with her tomorrow.

Eric: Yikes.

Simon, who did not go upstairs, overheard his mother talking to his father. He then runs all the way upstairs, upset. 

Lucy comes out and sees Mary waiting by the car. Lucy is surprised to see her out of basketball practice. At first, Mary lies and tells her sister it was a short practice. When Lucy points out she's not sweating, Mary tells her about getting lectured by the coach and not having practice. Though she doesn't say why. 

Matt searches through the dirty clothes to try and find something that isn't too smelly to wear. He sprays some lemon pledge in the air and quickly moves the clothes in it to make them smell good. (Haha, I love this scene). 

Eric goes into Simon's room, and Simon tells him he and the other guys were just goofing around at school. 

Simon: Darryl burped, and before I knew it, my fingers were just kind of levitating around on their own. It just happened. And all in about three seconds. And just so you know, everyone thought it was funny. 

Eric: Except your mother, who picked those three seconds to drive up, and the principal. Uh, I'll admit, there was, uh, an unfortunate element of bad timing at work. On the other hand, you know your mom, and I aren't fans of that particular gesture.

Eric reminds him why they don't like it, and Simon tells him he just wants to be one of the guys. Eric says he understands, and it's okay to be one of the guys, but he can't lose the ability to think for himself. And he and Annie decided Simon needed a break from the guys for the weekend. 

Eric: Your mom and I love you, kiddo. And your fingers, just not in their upright and locked position, okay?

Eric leaves. 

Simon (to himself): If mom loves me so much, then how come I'm not her son anymore? I'm just your son. Your son. (Poor Simon). 

Ruthie is in the living room with her mother, who is feeding the babies. Ruthie says the babies remind her of "The Mona Lisa" because their eyes follow her, and it's creepy. 

Matt comes in and says hello to his mom and youngest sister.

Annie: Hey, how's my number one son?

Ruthie: We have so many, now we have to number 'em.

Annie asks why she smells furniture polish. Matt says he doesn't smell anything. Eric comes in and hugs Matt.

Eric: What smells so lemony fresh? You?

Matt: Uh, new-new laundry detergent.

Annie tells Matt to do his laundry before dinnertime. 

On the news, the news anchor (Taylor Baldwin) tells everyone that the coach has cancelled the basketball season. However, the newscaster doesn't have a reason why the coach did this. Ruthie runs upstairs as Eric asks Mary about her day.

Ruthie goes into Simon's room and tells him to come downstairs. He doesn't want to because he feels down because their mother is upset with him, and he got grounded. She tells him about Mary's basketball coach canceling the season and how it was on the news. 

Simon: Well, if Mary's gonna have a worse one, I don't want to seem unsupportive.

Mary explains to everyone what happened with the coach, except she leaves out why he locked them out. Simon asks his sister why the coach locked them out, but Annie tells them to go back to their rooms before Mary can answer. They all leave Mary and their parents alone. Mary tells them that she heard some girls' grades were slipping. 

Eric: Are you one of the 'some girls?'

Mary: I'm not sure, but this whole thing could mean no team and no season, which could mean no scholarship...

Annie tells her they want to talk to the coach, and Mary says she wishes someone would and then leaves the living room.

Annie tells Eric that they can't afford Mary's college tuition without some scholarship. 

Ruthie asks Simon what they are doing, and he tells her he can't hang out with the guys. Ruthie says he can hang out with her, and she informs him it's not the same because she is not a guy, unlike him and his friends.

Simon: I even have the chest hair to prove it.

Ruthie: Let's see.

Ruthie pulls the chest hair out.

Simon: Ow!

Ruthie: Sorry, I thought that was sweatshirt fuzz. 

Simon: Well, it wasn't. It was a chest hair! And it was the only one I had. (Haha, the only one he had). 

Ruthie: Well, if you're such a guy, grow more. 

Ruthie claims she can be as good as a guy as Simon even without having chest hair. Simon burps, and Ruthie calls him lame. He then does armpit farts.

Ruthie: I don't have to do the fake kind. 

Happy yaps and runs away. Ruthie giggles and Simon leaves.

Matt confronts Mary about her grades. He reminds her that she is now the oldest in the house; therefore, she has a responsibility, and their father just had a heart attack. Mary kicks her brother out of her room.

Eric and Lucy are in the kitchen putting dishes in the dishwasher. He asks her about student court. She says she feels like she is doing something important even though it is only student court, and he says they have a lot in common. 

Ruthie sees Matt in the hall and smacks him in the butt. Then she burps and giggles. 

Ruthie: Hey Matt, what does this finger thing mean?

Ruthie gives him the double bird she saw Simon do with his friends earlier. Matt picks her up and carries her to Simon's room. (Nice reaction, Matt). 

Matt: Ruthie's been showing me some of the guy stuff you taught her.

Simon: Like she ever listens to me.

Matt: No, but apparently, she does watch you.

Simon: All right, quick, the witch hunt. Look, I was just messing around with the guys after school, a-and it just happened. Mom saw me, the principal saw me...

Ruthie: And I saw him. He kind of wiggled his rear around when he did it, too. He was so cute. 

Simon tells his older brother that he was just being one of the guys. (You are trying really hard to keep justifying here, Simon). Matt explains to his little brother that he learned the difference between being a guy and being a man when he grew up. Simon is upset that Matt has now ruined his childhood because while Matt got to have fun and then figure it out because Matt has told him, Simon cannot have fun while he figures it all out. (It makes sense when you think about it). Matt apologizes and invites Simon to hang out with him and the guys tomorrow to watch the game and eat pizza. 

Simon: I'll get back to you.
Ruthie: Ditto.

Matt: Oh, uh, by the way, that under the arm...

Simon: Honking.

Matt: Oh yeah, Mom hates that other word. 

Ruthie: But she can live with 'honking?'

Matt: As a word, not an activity. And that under-the-arm honking activity thing you do needed a little work anyway.

Simon: I'm sorry. But don't you have other dreams do dash? I mean, shouldn't you be telling the twins about prostates and taxes.

Matt: You'll thank me one day.

Simon: Oh, I'm sure. Of course.

Matt leaves while doing the armpit farting. 

Annie asks Eric if Simon is right about her not understanding since she's not a guy. He says guys are "wired differently." However, Simon acted like a thirteen-year-old who got embarrassed in front of his friends. The phone rings, and Annie answers. It's Ms. Russell, and she's scheduled a group meeting due to the news about Coach Leary and the basketball team. 

Matt comes into the room and asks his parents if he can stay overnight because he needs peace and quiet, and it's loud in his apartment. He mentions he is thinking about moving back home as well.

The next day, Simon and his parents meet with Simon's principal. She tells them for what he did, they usually get a three-day suspension. Eric and Annie think she is overreacting since he apologized to everyone. Annie gets upset and leaves first. 

Ms. Gordan: I'm sorry, Reverend Camden. Please...talk to your wife.

Rev. Camden: Don't worry; I will. I want to tell her she's right. (I agree, you can't always do a blanket punishment to things, courts don't even do that).

He and Simon leave the room and get into the car. Annie asks her son if he's okay and thinks he's down about being suspended. Simon explains that he thought she didn't want him as a son any longer because he overheard him. Eric suddenly remembers he needs to check a tire that looks low and gets out of the car. (Smooth, Eric, real smooth). She says she didn't mean it, and it "just came out." Simon explains that's what happened with his fingers. 

Annie: I think I was so upset with you because that gesture is just so...

Simon: Vulgar and indecent?

Annie: Yeah. But also ordinary. It's like the people who use that gesture aren't smart or clever enough to think of something better to do. 

She tells her son that he is extraordinary. He apologizes, as does she. They tell each other they love each other and hug. 

Some girls on the basketball team run into some guys at school. The guys ask what Coach Cleary was thinking since the women's basketball team is tied for first place. 

Rod (Toran Caudell) and Shelby (Julie Berman) are walking in the hall with Lucy. Rod says that he heard that some of the girls failed a drug test, and Shelby heard they were buying tests. 

Rod: I also heard that a couple girls are really Russian ringers brought over here to help win the championship. And with the collapse of the Soviet Union's economy, it makes sense. 

Lucy: On what planet? (Haha)!

Lucy tells them that it was due to their grades and not to tell anyone since she wasn't supposed to say anything. 

Matt returns to his apartment, and Shauna (Maureen Flannigan) is there. He apologizes to her for being late for their study date. She asks him what is wrong, and Matt tells her about Mary, Simon, and Ruthie. And since his dad just had a heart attack, he's concerned that it could happen again.

John (Chaz Lamar Shepherd) comes in and asks them what's happening. Matt tells him he's thinking about moving back home because of everything that is happening at home. John is angry because he can't afford the rent on his own for the apartment. 

Mary tells the basketball team members that a player only needs a 2.0 to play. Carrie from the news tries to get a comment from Coach Cleary before the meeting, but he ignores her. She sees the girls and tells them the coach might make an official statement. They tell her he didn't have a right to do what he did. 

Annie and Eric leave Lucy to watch Simon, Ruthie, and the twins. Ruthie is doing the underarm honking.

Simon: Ignore her. She's just trying to be one of the guys. 

Lucy: Underarm honking is not a guy thing. 

Simon: It is too.

Lucy: No, it's not. Anyone can do it. 

Lucy demonstrates her ability to do it as well. 

Annie and Eric arrive at the gym for the meeting with the other girls on the team and their parents. There is a group of students and news people outside listening. 

Coach Cleary hands the parents copies of their girls' academic progress reports. He informs them they were wanted multiple times. One of the parents tells him that her daughter's grades are not his business since he's "just a basketball coach." He explains that he cares about more than their basketball scores. Another parent points out the league's requirements, and Cleary tells him those are "substandard." 

Father of one of the girls: Basketball is the only shot my kid has at a scholarship. Now, how dare you take that opportunity away from her?

Cleary: How dare your daughter give that opportunity away? And just where do you think she's going to get a scholarship with grades like that? (Sadly, the coach cares more about the girls' education than the parents). 

Another parent accuses the coach of discrimination.

Principal Russell reminds the parents that the girls can play as soon as they get their grades back up. She says that she and the athletic director support the coach. (I've always liked this lady). 

Eric raises his hand and tells them who Mary is. 

Eric (to Mary): Did you know your grades were slipping?

Mary nods.

Eric (to Mary): Is there something you could have done to stop them from slipping? 

Mary shrugs. 

Eric: Did Coach Cleary tell you what would happen if your grades kept slipping?

Mary nods.

Eric: Then, for now, we're gonna respect this lock-out.

Mary: What? 

Annie: I'm sorry, kiddo. Your coach didn't blow it; you did. (Yup). 

Ruthie and Simon are in Simon's room. Simon is concerned about how quiet it is and thinks the fact Mary isn't yelling isn't a good thing. Simon gets an idea, attaches a baby monitor on Happy, covers it with a scarf, and tells her to go upstairs to the attic. 

Happy goes upstairs and sits next to Mary, who is talking with Corey on the phone. 

Mary: My own parents stabbed me in the back. (She listens to Corey, whose side of the conversation can't be heard). I don't know what did you have in mind? (She listens again). Woah, that last part's a bit extreme, but I can handle the part where we get something to eat. 

Simon is concerned about what they overheard, and Ruthie asks if they will tell their parents. They run downstairs, and Matt is there for Simon to go watch the game. Ruthie wants to go, but Simon tells her she's not a guy.

Annie: Why don't you stay home and do something with Lucy and me.

Ruthie: Kill me. 

Her parents both give her "the look." 

Ruthie: No, thank you very much. I'd rather go to guys' night at Matt's. 

Matt says it's okay with him if it's okay with their parents. Eric asks them how "guy" the night will be. Matt tells him it's no big thing. 

Ruthie: You know, I do go to school, I play on a football team, and I've seen MTV. So if there's something else out there, bring it on.

Eric: That is so reassuring, my little flower.

Mary asks her parents if she can go out to eat with the girls or if she is grounded.

Annie: I know you're upset, but I'd appreciate it if you'd watch your tone.

Mary: I'm sorry. 

The doorbell rings.

Mary: They were just going to drop by to see if I could go with them, but I'll just tell them I can't. 

Eric: We know you might want to vent with your friends, just do it quickly and come right home. 

Lucy tells Mary that Mary's friends are there.

Eric asks Lucy about student court, and she says they didn't have it due to the meeting. Annie is concerned perhaps they shouldn't have let Mary go, but Eric says Mary needed to blow off some steam, and they can talk to her when she gets home. (I hope they don't blow off too much steam). 

The girls from the team are at the pool hall eating and venting. Mary tells the others that at least her parents didn't embarrass them in front of everyone. 

Maggie (Kelly McNair): This whole thing makes me nuts. I just wanna go over to the gym and...you know.

Mary: Yeah. I know. I know.

Eric and Annie are in their room with Sam and David discussing Matt's announcement that he was considering moving back home. Matt, Simon, and Ruthie walk into their room.

Annie: Is the game over already?

Simon: No. Ruthie's honking got to everyone, and we were asked to leave. 

Annie: What?

Ruthie: I was just being one of the guys. 

Simon: Honking doesn't make you a guy; it makes you a pig. A pig who gets kicked out of guys' night.

Ruthie: Okay, okay. I'm not married to it. I just thought that was what guys are supposed to do when they hung out.

Simon: You were wrong. You were very, very toxically wrong.

Eric clears his throat.

Simon: Great, I just taught myself a lesson. I hope you're happy. (It's been a rough few days for you, Simon). 

Ruthie: I wouldn't say happy exactly. 

A frustrated Simon leaves the room. Annie reminds Ruthie that she knows how they feel about disgusting noises, fluids, and gestures.

Ruthie: It's rude and gross, but accidents happen, and you have to say excuse me. But accidents shouldn't happen very often. 

Eric: Yeah.

Annie: Close enough.

Ruthie: Matt, excuse me.

Matt: You're not excused, but I forgive you.

Ruthie: I'll take what I can get.

She leaves, and Matt asks to watch the rest of the game downstairs. Annie says, "sure." 

The girls from the basketball team sneak into the school. (I'm sure they are not doing anything wrong, right)?

Eric tells Annie that Lucy is doing great. Annie tells her husband that he and Lucy are "two peas in a pod." Annie asks him if he blames himself for what is going on, and he says he's not, but he's not on top of things.

Annie: We love our kids. We work really hard at trying to be good parents who set the right kind of examples. But there comes a point in life where you just have to throw them out into the world and pray.

Eric: What about Mary?

Annie: Maybe we threw her too far. Mary's a good kid. We'll get through this.

Eric: Yeah. 

The girls' basketball team trash and destroy the gym. 

Destruction of the gym.

A door opens, and a light shines.

Police officer (unseen): Hold it; that's enough. You're under arrest. 

Mary turns and looks at him.

The words "to be continued" show on the screen.

The closing credits come up. 

(I like this episode. Everything worked together really well. I felt sorry for Simon, it took him a while to fully get it, but still, he had a hard few days here. Ruthie was rather annoying, and Mary, well, she's usually irritating; this was no exception. She is, as always, very entitled. Overall, great episode).